Welcome!
Welcome to ARFID Circle. ARFID Circle is a resource for parents, caregivers, and for anyone who struggles with ARFID.
We are not medical professionals, and our purpose is simply to share first-hand knowledge of living with ARFID and sharing real-life stories about the challenges that ARFID presents.
We are noticing an uptick in ARFID in the news. We aim to keep our resource page up to date with real-life stories and information on groups/organizations that provide services. We also have links to books published on ARFID by some of the leaders in ARFID research.
For parents and anyone with ARFID, we hope that ARFID Circle helps you feel less alone.
My Story
During my childhood in Ireland, my relationship with food was marked by an unusual and isolating experience. A daily occurrence in my house was family dinners at a set time every day. Pretty much most days I never ate family dinners when my siblings and parents ate dinner. But it wasn’t just dinners, it was all meals and all foods. They had variety in their meals and foods that they ate and my variety was pretty much nonexistent.
My eating habits also went in patterns, I would favor a food, for example toast and then have it for breakfast, dinner and lunch for weeks on end. Then I would drop or get sick of this food and replace it with another food, for example sausage rolls (or what they refer to as Pigs in a Blanket in the US).This cycle continued, with me repeatedly fixating on a preferred food and then abruptly abandoning it for something else. Junk food such as candy bars and chocolate were things that I would favor outside meal times for snacks/treats.
How long did this go on for? Well pretty much until I was 19 years old.
When I left home and moved to college I had 3 roommates, to them it was interesting that a person could eat that much toast and especially for dinner in the evening. While at college watching peers cook and eat meals, my interest in non-preferred foods was aroused. At times I asked to try foods they were having or I simply started cooking them and trying them myself.
On trips home to visit my family I would sometimes announce ‘Did you know I now like Fries with Curry Sauce?’ My third year of college involved a placement year in the US and during this time I tried even more new foods. In our group of friends/roommates, I was still considered to be a picky eater.
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During my year abroad, fate brought me face-to-face with someone who would become incredibly special to me. We quickly developed a deep connection, and our relationship grew more serious over time. However, it wasn't long before a particularly stressful situation arose, one that revolved around a simple question: "Let's go out to dinner."
After a few conversations, he managed to convince me to give dinner a chance. With his guidance and support, we finally ventured out for that dinner date. It was a daunting experience for me, filled with anxiety and uncertainty. However, his kindness and understanding helped me navigate the menu and make choices that felt comfortable to me. He lightened the mood, making light-hearted remarks to alleviate the stress I was feeling.
In just a few months following those initial dinner dates, a remarkable transformation occurred in my eating habits. I found myself embracing a vast assortment of foods, ones that I had never even tasted before or could have imagined myself enjoying. It was a paradigm shift, a departure from my limited culinary repertoire.
As an adult woman, my dietary preferences have expanded to encompass a wide variety of foods. However, there are certain foods that I still have an aversion to over the years. Not only do I choose not to eat them myself, but I also find it difficult to witness others consuming them in my presence. Bananas, salads, and pasta dishes to name a few fall into this category.
Looking back now it is clear to me that these patterns and behaviors I experienced as a child growing up in the 80s and 90s were ARFID.
ARFID made a reappearance in my life when I had my first children, a set of boy/girl twins. It was during my children's toddler years, around the time they were 3 that I began to notice something intriguing happening with their eating habits. These little ones, who had once enthusiastically devoured all types of berries, yogurts, bananas, avocados, pasta, rice, fish sticks, chicken, and other typical foods, began to exhibit a concerning shift.
Gradually, I observed them dropping certain foods from their diets. What they once enjoyed, they now refused to eat. Instead, they developed a strong preference for specific items and insisted on having them repeatedly, even for every single meal.
I have spent the last 10 years constantly being worried about them and their eating habits. I have seen doctors, OTs, nutritionists. I have said things to doctors who treated us but did not make progress, things like “It's not just picking eating, it is more extreme”, “I was like this as a child”, and “my child gets so anxious/withdrawn around food”.
One day I was at my computer and I googled ‘extreme picking eating’ I found a description for Selective Eating Disorder. I read that and tears streamed down my face. It then linked to the term ARFID - Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder. I read it and it was like yes, this is what I have been talking about, this is what I am living, this is even what I had.
It has been five years since my twins received an official diagnosis of ARFID, shedding light on their condition. Yet, despite having this knowledge and diagnosis in hand, ARFID remains a significant, ongoing concern that impacts our family's daily life. Eating out in restaurants is super stressful, traveling and visiting new places is challenging and even simply going to dinner at a friends or hosting in your own home causes such anxiety for my twins.
Amidst the difficulties, I hold onto an unwavering belief that someday my twins will embrace a wider variety of foods. This belief stems from my own personal journey, where I have witnessed my own progress and growth in expanding my own palate.
It pains me to see them confined by the limitations imposed by ARFID, and I yearn for them to find freedom and joy in their relationship with food.
Do I wish for my children to experience this growth sooner? Absolutely
Do I want to help them through this? Absolutely.
Do I want to help others along the way? Absolutely.
This is the why to ARFID Circle.
—Emma